this is the trailer park dammit!

[tappin_azz]

treat it as such!

[Porch Monkey]

This is YOUR section!

[tappin_azz]

This is YOUR section!

that being said.

i have a trailer park report.

i drive up to my trailer after work last thursday. the ho in the trailer right next to mine has her door wide open. anywayz, i walk up to my door and i hear her yellin at me. she sayz...hey baby, youre cute, come here. i go over and shes in nothing but a tshirt. says to me...its my birfday baby, wanna help me celebrate?? i ask how im gonna do that. she tells me her and her roomie wanna kick it 3-way styles. i told her it would cost her, and left it at that.

so my question is, how much should i charge to pimp myself out??

[90lac]

ide tell her 100 for the first hour and 50 for every hour flowing

[tappin_azz]

ide tell her 100 for the first hour and 50 for every hour flowing

dude really? im high quality.

[Porch Monkey]

take them to a Shoney's

[90lac]

that's still 50 more then what a street corner hoe gets

[97gp]

Be careful homie she knows where you live, she may try to torch the crib if you try any funny business.

[Pop Da Hatch]

I located your picture finally.....






http://i21.tinypic.com/2i8tycx.jpg

[Rashaddd]

LOL

[slim8605]

I located your picture finally.....






http://i21.tinypic.com/2i8tycx.jpg

Seriously ^^^ is funny

[Spider Monkey]

Tappin is in his avatar :fyi:.

[Uncle Rico]

Am I missing the funny?

[slim8605]

Its funny because he looks like me if I were white, and gangsta, and homo, and 12.

Pretty much everything I want to be :(

[Rashaddd]

Am I missing the funny?

apparently, yes

[q-ball]

i has never seen an emo thug!!!!!

[Uncle Rico]

He just looks like a typical wigger to me.

[Uncle Rico]

Or a Guido wigger mix.

[Porch Monkey]

http://www.demotivateus.com/posters/ethug-thug-whooped-rep-demotivational-poster.jpg

[q-ball]

man wtf thats aweful!!!!

[Spider Monkey]

That's hard.

[Porch Monkey]

it's me

[tappin_azz]

what it do fellow pimps??

[Spider Monkey]

Word to yo motha.

[Porch Monkey]

pimpin

[tappin_azz]

now i feel the pressuse to produce degenerate trip reports more often.

[Porch Monkey]

make sure to get pics

[tappin_azz]

im from tha hood man. i dont have no camera. ill see if i can stealz one yo.

[Spider Monkey]

Steal your gma's.

[tappin_azz]

Steal your gma's.

i stole it and sold it like 3 months ago to a meth-head. i needed money to get my drank on.

[Spider Monkey]

Blue drank?

[pl8er]

Tell her 50 bucks and just go plain funky on her.

PIITB and then stick it right in her girls mouth.

Stand up on the bed and yell "I'm the marshmallow king" but really sell it to be something great. Make her call you that from that point on.

[q-ball]

red drank is better!!!!

[tappin_azz]

red drank is better!!!!

this

[Spider Monkey]

Yellow drank is best.

[tappin_azz]

Tell her 50 bucks and just go plain funky on her.

PIITB and then stick it right in her girls mouth.

Stand up on the bed and yell "I'm the marshmallow king" but really sell it to be something great. Make her call you that from that point on.

$50 bucks is quite a low number for the quality of women i am dealing with here.

what if i ask for a price on a 3-some with a walrus and a bigfoot? what kind of numbers am i looking at then?

ive got to get back to these skanks or they gonna find some RND.

[pl8er]

A walrus and a bigfoot doesn't make sense. You are the marshmallow king, just work with that.

If by quality of women you mean whales, then charge 2-fiddy.

[tappin_azz]

plus the alcohol to get me as close to unconscious as possible and the condoms?? or is that included in the 2-fiddy??

where the fuck is my manager?

[Spider Monkey]

Sup wat up?

Wat we talkin bout hur?

[tappin_azz]

Sup wat up?

Wat we talkin bout hur?

you already got my music career headed in the right direction, now its up to you to get my man-whore gig off the ground.

i guess i need a price list. preferably one where the cost goes up as the looks go down. perhaps flip could come up with a formula. IDK.

[Porch Monkey]

Pimps have managers?

[Porch Monkey]

You mean landlord?

[Spider Monkey]

you already got my music career headed in the right direction, now its up to you to get my man-whore gig off the ground.

i guess i need a price list. preferably one where the cost goes up as the looks go down. perhaps flip could come up with a formula. IDK.

A new career huh. Sounds interesting. One major problem though.

People like me that man-whore for free will make your profitability difficult.

[Spider Monkey]

Pimps have managers?

He's teh ho. I'm the pimp

[Porch Monkey]

I'm Micheal Jackson. Come here my little monkey wunkie.

[Spider Monkey]

You know I be diggin the MJ

[tappin_azz]

A new career huh. Sounds interesting. One major problem though.

People like me that man-whore for free will make your profitability difficult.

you dont have my skill set. the womenz luv them some tappin...

[Spider Monkey]

you dont have my skill set. the womenz luv them some tappin...

I hate to break it to you, but once women get the monkey, everything else is just too funky.

You'll see in May.

[Porch Monkey]

You know I be diggin the MJ
I know he'd love to dig you.

[Spider Monkey]

I would let him have it for a little HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEE OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

[tappin_azz]

I hate to break it to you, but once women get the monkey, everything else is just too funky.

You'll see in May.

no one else is gonna want to join us. they not gonna want to sit on the sidelines and watch.

its gonna be me and you and all those NOLA hoodrats.

[Porch Monkey]

I would let him have it for a little HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEE OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p314/ttag8006/01%20Greeting%20Comments/Holidays%20General/MichaelJacksonSanta.gif

[Spider Monkey]

no one else is gonna want to join us. they not gonna want to sit on the sidelines and watch.

its gonna be me and you and all those NOLA hoodrats.
I'm okay with that. If Flip and WSW want to bail on us, they can. That only increases the odds.
http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p314/ttag8006/01%20Greeting%20Comments/Holidays%20General/MichaelJacksonSanta.gif

OMFG HAHAHAHA!

[hoss]

I dont get it, isnt that how you are supposed to hold children?

[slim8605]

I thought the mouth went down there but I could be mistaken.

[tappin_azz]

I thought the mouth went down there but I could be mistaken.

only if youre a smooth criminal.

[Spider Monkey]

Like MJ

[tappin_azz]

i have just been challenged to a tennis match, by some preppy snob punk. now, i am not a tennis player, thats just not how i roll, but ill be damned if im gonna let prettyboy kyle talk down to me like im some chump. i might be from the hood, but i got some skills. he claims he plays all tha time. no matter....im a gambler. ill lay some monies down.

i will steal his monies, steal his racket, then steal his girl.

it shall be done.

what it do?!?

[Spider Monkey]

Steal the balls too!

[tappin_azz]

Steal the balls too!

done!

[Spider Monkey]

Oh snaps! Take the net too! You can use it as a hammock at home!

[tappin_azz]

Oh snaps! Take the net too! You can use it as a hammock at home!

im gonna use it to wrap his girl up in. i thought that was understood.

[Spider Monkey]

Oh, I didn't get that visual. I get it now.

[Spider Monkey]

Kinda assumed she would have gone with you willingly.

[tappin_azz]

Kinda assumed she would have gone with you willingly.

well, im sure that will be tha case, but i always have a plan B ready.

she could very well be a whale, in which case i will net her and leave. you know how the fat chicks crave me.

[Spider Monkey]

Words. I have the same problem. They troll me for baby daddy position.

I will not have that position.

[bluecar]

Words. I have the same problem. They troll me for baby daddy position.

I will not have that position.

You has teh monies teh baby momma desire.

[tappin_azz]

You has teh monies teh baby momma desire.

whats my problem then? i gots no monies, but still got tha stalkers...

[bluecar]

whats my problem then? i gots no monies, but still got tha stalkers...

Your fly threads make them think you do.

[Spider Monkey]

You has teh monies teh baby momma desire.
CAN NOT HAVE
whats my problem then? i gots no monies, but still got tha stalkers...
The ones that are hard go after the real Gs.

[tappin_azz]

tennis court TR.

after tha chump saw my atheletic abilities he didnt want to lay any monies on tha line. he neglected to bring his woman along for tha beat down too.

dont come to me in a polo and cotton dockers and not expect me to run you down!! i had him gasping for air and sucking on his sparkling bottled water after 15 minutes.

why people gotta test me??

now take your 6-1 ass beating to the bar and buy me some beer.

done!

what it do?!?

[Spider Monkey]

Man, what a total fail that guy was. He didn't come through on a single thing.

[tappin_azz]

he supposed to play on some league. unless its somehow related to the special olympics i dont see how.

im a baller. i can do it all.

[Pop Da Hatch]

Tennis is w1n.

[Bender]

now i feel the pressuse to produce degenerate trip reports more often.

we wouldnt have it any other way

Blue drank?

purple drank is ftw :fyi:

[wasted ink]

purple drank is ftw :fyi:

Purple Mad Dog for Tappin' :fyi:

[Porch Monkey]

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p120/lousybum/rumsfield.gif

[Spider Monkey]

http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p120/lousybum/rumsfield.gif

:laugh:

[tappin_azz]

if you rape a women, is it inevitable that you will get hit in the balls?

me thinks its not worth the chance.

[tappin_azz]

poker news.

4-8 limit. BB jackpot around $20k.

dude folds 6d7d to a $4 raise.

final board reads 8d9d3c10dkh.

he folds small straight flush. winner tables QdJd for big straight flush.

dude freaks out telling the table he folded the jackpot. dealer goes into muck and pulls out 6d7d. dude is sick. thought he was gonna puke for the next hour or 2.

he missed out on $10k.
i missed out on about $900.

[Spider Monkey]

So he lost?

[tappin_azz]

he saved $4. folded before the flop. had he played his cards he would have won $10k.

so, yeah he lost out on $10k.

[Roadtrippin']

poker news.

4-8 limit. BB jackpot around $20k.

dude folds 6d7d to a $4 raise.

final board reads 8d9d3c10dkh.

he folds small straight flush. winner tables QdJd for big straight flush.

dude freaks out telling the table he folded the jackpot. dealer goes into muck and pulls out 6d7d. dude is sick. thought he was gonna puke for the next hour or 2.

he missed out on $10k.
i missed out on about $900.


Oh shit, that sucks. Where was that at?

[tappin_azz]

Oh shit, that sucks. Where was that at?

philly. who folds suited connectors to a $4 raise?? not this gangsta..

[Spider Monkey]

So if he lost, you won?

[tappin_azz]

So if he lost, you won?

if he lost everyone at the table won.

he would have won $10k
other dude that won hand would have won $5k
other 6 people at table would split $5k between them.

i must teach you the ways of the tables.

[pl8er]

philly. who folds suited connectors to a $4 raise?? not this gangsta..

That made me LOL :P "not this gangsta"

4 dollar raise on a 10k pot? WTF kinda money you guys playing? Should have asked if you could throw in some lint or a cracka jack.

[Spider Monkey]

if he lost everyone at the table won.

he would have won $10k
other dude that won hand would have won $5k
other 6 people at table would split $5k between them.

i must teach you the ways of the tables.

What the fuck? That shit never happens on the ESPN shit I watch. Why does teh pot get split?

[tappin_azz]

damn it!

this was not the pot. its what you call a bad beat jackpot. its money set aside by the poker room to get people to play. you win it if you have a huge hand like AAAQQ beaten by a bigger hand. losing player gets 50% of the jackpot, winner gets 25%, and rest of the table splits the other 25%. this casinos jackpot was a little over $20k at the time.

if this guy plays his hand he would have had 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 of diamonds for the straight flush. other guy had 8, 9, 10, J, Q for the bigger straight flush. thats where the jackpot comes in.

newbs.

[pl8er]

Well shit. My question still stands. A 20k jackpot and he upped it by 4 dollars? I mean 4 fucking dollars?

[Spider Monkey]

damn it!

this was not the pot. its what you call a bad beat jackpot. its money set aside by the poker room to get people to play. you win it if you have a huge hand like AAAQQ beaten by a bigger hand. losing player gets 50% of the jackpot, winner gets 25%, and rest of the table splits the other 25%. this casinos jackpot was a little over $20k at the time.

if this guy plays his hand he would have had 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 of diamonds for the straight flush. other guy had 8, 9, 10, J, Q for the bigger straight flush. thats where the jackpot comes in.

newbs.


Daymn yo. Never heard of that. Balla indeed.

[tappin_azz]

Daymn yo. Never heard of that. Balla indeed.

i see you talking shit in a thread i cant even post in.

[Spider Monkey]

LOLZ You can read it but not post in it?

[galacticmonkey]

Tappin Azz, how can I be more like you?

[Roadtrippin']

philly. who folds suited connectors to a $4 raise?? not this gangsta..

Wow, now if he had to cold call a raise then yeah. But if he had 4 in already then hell no.

That's the thing it may be a mistake to put the first 4 in but if you do then it's raised you have to call -- unless you can tell you are going to end up putting in 16 before it's over.

[90lac]

Tappin Azz, how can I be more like you?

drink lots of md 20/20 and live in a trailer . see i live in a trailer but don't drink md 20/20 im only half way there

[tappin_azz]

Tappin Azz, how can I be more like you?

1. let your dad run off the day your born
2. have a crackhead mom that is in and out of jail
3. live with your whore of a grandma, that has a different horny old man every night of the week.
4. grow up on the streets, and drop out of school as soon as you turn 16
5. fight, steal, and drank everyday of your life.
6. smoke weed but never inhale
7. find you a fine latina bitch that loves you and treat her like shit

thats a good start. accomplish all of this and come back for chapter 2. "how to earn respect like a mutha fucka".

what it do!?!

[q-ball]

nothins included fo 2-fiddy the all inclusive package is tree fiddy!!!

[tappin_azz]

so, this morning im walkin down tha street to tha store to get my grandma some grits to cook for me when this old dude in a green pickup pulls up beside me and yells at me to pull up my pants. i told old dude to take his medication and drive the fuck on. he turns off his truck and gets out like he is clint eastwood or some shit. WTF is it with tha old men around here thinking they can just step up to me?? he gets all up in my grill talking about WWII and respect. so i did what i thought was tha right thing to do. i turned my ass to him and dropped my pants to my ankles. old dude gets so pissed he tries to kick me, but loses his balance and falls down hard on the sidewalk. i think tha fall knocked the breath out of him. i am rollin as i pull my pants up. i then give him a salute him as he is layin on tha ground and then head off to get my mutha fuckin grits.

oh shit! tha price is right is on!!! holla!!!!

[blazeplacid]

I love how you make my mo'nins with your trailer park stories

[tappin_azz]

I love how you make my mo'nins with your trailer park stories

these arent stories yo, this is my life.

[Spider Monkey]

so, this morning im walkin down tha street to tha store to get my grandma some grits to cook for me when this old dude in a green pickup pulls up beside me and yells at me to pull up my pants. i told old dude to take his medication and drive the fuck on. he turns off his truck and gets out like he is clint eastwood or some shit. WTF is it with tha old men around here thinking they can just step up to me?? he gets all up in my grill talking about WWII and respect. so i did what i thought was tha right thing to do. i turned my ass to him and dropped my pants to my ankles. old dude gets so pissed he tries to kick me, but loses his balance and falls down hard on the sidewalk. i think tha fall knocked the breath out of him. i am rollin as i pull my pants up. i then give him a salute him as he is layin on tha ground and then head off to get my mutha fuckin grits.

oh shit! tha price is right is on!!! holla!!!!

Too bad he didn't have an iPod for you to jack.

[tappin_azz]

im off the ipod kick now. ill stick with my big ass boombox that i carry on my shoulder.

[blazeplacid]

im off the ipod kick now. ill stick with my big ass boombox that i carry on my shoulder.

I cant fine one of those anywhere

[tappin_azz]

i got it off of somebody's front porch. had a Kool-Moe-D cassette in it. just a bonus if you ask me.

[tapout]

fixed

[tappin_azz]

it had both playa. only things missing were the 2 turntables and a microphone.

[dafobbishon3]

:ohyeah:

[dafobbishon3]

OHH YEAHHHHHHH

[tappin_azz]

http://crunktimes.com/ct/picture.php?albumid=4&pictureid=11

so i picked up this new gun off one of my crackhead friends for $15. he needed money bad, so i thought i would help him out. he bought it a few weeks ago for over $400. check yo self fool!!!

[Spider Monkey]

Get bullets Do Work!

[tappin_azz]

imma fire off a couple rounds tonight in tha side of this dudes truck. he wanted to act all hard up in tha club saturday night.

here's tha story.

we all up in tha club, and its packed as shit. you can barely move. lots of skanks all over tha place. none that i wanted to throw game at tho. so, anywayz, im makin my way through tha crowd when this chick bumps into me and spills her drink all down my back. i turned around and said "damn, bitch, you betta not have fucked up my shirt!" she tells me to fuck off and turns to walk away, so i just threw my whole glass of beer down her back. she then grabs this dudes beer bottle and starts slinging it over the whole crown, gettin everybody wet. she gets bounced, and im laughin at her skank ass. well the dude she was with wants to get in my face.....well, you know i dont play that. i told him to step off before he got dealt with.

he gonna get dealt wit tonight.....holla!!

[Pop Da Hatch]

What gun is it?

[pl8er]

Staple his nuts to a chair and shoot a few bullets at the ground...make him run with his nuts stapled. Go gangsta or don't go at all.

[Spider Monkey]

Snap son. Better hope he's not strapped too!

[tappin_azz]

What gun is it?

glock 19 9mm

[Pop Da Hatch]

Nice, light someone up.

[Werd]

LOL

[90lac]

have fun getting shot when that 9 jams

[tappin_azz]

have fun getting shot when that 9 jams

didnt get to fire off any rounds last night. too many people out. will drive by again tonight to see what the deal is.

im gonna squeeze off one in his door panel.

[tappin_azz]

damn it all! i been blocked out of tha thing again!!

[Spider Monkey]

lulz. You just posted in it. Clear your cache and try again.

[tappin_azz]

this is the 3rd time. usually clears out the next day. i dont know WTF is going on. i dont know how to use that TOR shit either.

[Spider Monkey]

Tor is easy bruh. Download it and it works by itself.

[Spider Monkey]

But if IT finds it on your computer, you're fucked.

[Toasted1]

TOR is slow as fuck, what browser you using? Set firefox to delete all cookies, cache and history when you close the window and then reopen.

I emailed SonicWALL for you btw ask them to take CT off the list as having 'Intimate Apparel' which still makes no sense to me.

[Spider Monkey]

Well I'm posting in my underwear.

[tappin_azz]

TOR is slow as fuck, what browser you using? Set firefox to delete all cookies, cache and history when you close the window and then reopen.

I emailed SonicWALL for you btw ask them to take CT off the list as having 'Intimate Apparel' which still makes no sense to me.

its different today. today's reason - drugs/illegal drugs.

im sure i will be able to post again tomorrow.

[Spider Monkey]

its different today. today's reason - drugs/illegal drugs.

im sure i will be able to post again tomorrow.

I think it is monitoring our every word...

[tappin_azz]

whats so messed up is that i posted one minute and the next minute im blocked.

[Spider Monkey]

While you were in there, it was reading everything. It found reference to drugs and locked the door on yo ass.

[tappin_azz]

so yesterday when i roll up to tha trailer, the beast from nextdoor is outside. she yells and tells me to come over. i walk over to her to see whats up and she asks why i havent been over to see her and her roomie yet. i tell her im busy yo. she tells me to go inside for a minute, that her roommate wants to give me something. so i stick my head into the door and i see her roomie is barely dressed, motioning me to come in. then i notice a hospital bracelet on her arm. im thinking WTF?? so i ask whats up with tha bracelet. she tells me she has pneumonia, but its not contagious. i bail.

so this chick, fresh out of the ER, wants some action, and i bounce telling her i dont wanna get sick. these skanks need to find some other boy-toy.

so, how do i get these chicks off my jock without risking getting raped? i truly think they could pull it off.

what it do?!?

[tappin_azz]

oh, and some light-skinned sista moved in a little ways down. i will be hittin that...

[Spider Monkey]

How fat were they?

[tappin_azz]

How fat were they?

the big one goes about 2 bills. the other one is around 170.

i think they wanna break me in half.

[Spider Monkey]

Yes, they could mos def take you.

[tappin_azz]

thats why im playin it cool. i dont want these two yetis stumblin over to my crib one night in a drunken state and takin my virginity.

[Spider Monkey]

I don't think a trailer door can stop 400 pounds of furry.

[tappin_azz]

im out. going by lowe's to get some stuff to reinforce my door.

[tappin_azz]

nothing to report from last night. tha park was quiet.

i did make first contact with tha light-skinned hottie.

[wasted ink]

nothing to report from last night. tha park was quiet.

i did make first contact with tha light-skinned hottie.

Pics?

[adio]

nothing to report from last night. tha park was quiet.

i did make first contact with tha light-skinned hottie.

no u didn't. and if so, we wasn't wit it.......

[adio]

wow, i got a badd ass avatar now!!!!!!!!11

[Terranova]

5 cents
gutter slut

[AnalyzEnterprise]

This girl with the clap paid me $10 to hit it raw but she had the clap. I did it anyway I got high on crack and I couldn't feel the burn.

[pl8er]

This girl with the clap paid me $10 to hit it raw but she had the clap. I did it anyway I got high on crack and I couldn't feel the burn.

Foot in mouth and head up ass-hole
Whatcha talkin' 'bout?
Difficult to dance 'round this one
'til you pull it out, boy

You must have been so high
You must have been so high

[AnalyzEnterprise]

All I can say is..."son of a bitch"..I heard that somewhere from someone, he likes saying it.

[pl8er]

All I can say is..."son of a bitch"..I heard that somewhere from someone, he likes saying it.

I know crazy, and I'm pretty sure you are it.

[Spider Monkey]

Where's ma nga Tappin? How much did you win last night rollin the dice with the homeys?? Holla back!

[hoss]

Dice? Homeys? back?

[Spider Monkey]

Dice? Homeys? back?

Words son. I got the text on the bat phone last night.

[hoss]

Bat phone? Monkey has a phone? How come I dont has its nomber :(

[Spider Monkey]

Bat phone? Monkey has a phone? How come I dont has its nomber :(

Monkey has iPhone. Monkey also has rule. Numbah giveth to monkey, monkey givith back.

[hoss]

My number is out there... I too has iphone.

[Spider Monkey]

My number is out there... I too has iphone.

I has your number on sticky note, but I have not found said sticky note since teh move last month.

[hoss]

I feel unloved :(

[Spider Monkey]

Its not about love unless teh balls touch.

[hoss]

I thought that was what made it fun?

[Spider Monkey]

The love or the balls?

[hoss]

Balls. Balls make it fun.

[hoss]

Text me dirty thoughts monkey. seben oh fo, to oh too, 5 seben seben un.

[Spider Monkey]

Banana Balls!!!

[hoss]

I dont see any sext texts coming my way...

[Spider Monkey]

I have not found the post it note yet.

[hoss]

I JUST GAVE YOU THE NUMBER!!

[Spider Monkey]

Uh... you did? Where>?

[Spider Monkey]

OHZ I MISSED THAT POAST

[hoss]

You gotta look with your eyes...

[hustlemanlv]

LOL

[tappin_azz]

been in NOLA since Thursday. cant remember much.

got one story.

walking down canal st. after a long night of the pokerz. its about 430 and im headed to the hotel. im at an intersection waiting to cross when this blue nissan xterra pulls up. the window rolls down and this blonde chick says "whats KC stand for?", referring to my Kansas City Royals cap. i tell her, and she then says "you wanna party?". i ask her where, and she says in your hotel. i tell her we cant go there, too many people there. so she says "wanna party in my car?". i say "is there gonna be cake and ice cream?" she says no, and i tell her it doesnt sound like much of a party.

[Spider Monkey]

been in NOLA since Thursday. cant remember much.

got one story.

walking down canal st. after a long night of the pokerz. its about 430 and im headed to the hotel. im at an intersection waiting to cross when this blue nissan xterra pulls up. the window rolls down and this blonde chick says "whats KC stand for?", referring to my Kansas City Royals cap. i tell her, and she then says "you wanna party?". i ask her where, and she says in your hotel. i tell her we cant go there, too many people there. so she says "wanna party in my car?". i say "is there gonna be cake and ice cream?" she says no, and i tell her it doesnt sound like much of a party.


Yea, but did you attend said party regardless?

[Pop Da Hatch]

bitches will be bitches.

[tappin_azz]

Yea, but did you attend said party regardless?

no cake, no party. thats how i roll.

[tappin_azz]

in a recent development, i have found out that one of the 3-some chicks is a phone-sex operator.

what the hell kind of place do i live in??

[Spider Monkey]

Tha diiirty.

[Porch Monkey]

no cake, no party. thats how i roll.What if it was a Bar Mitzvah ?

[Spider Monkey]

Did someone say bar?

[tappin_azz]

ya'll are getting off topic here....

[Spider Monkey]

Sorry. I'm a sucker for bars.

[Porch Monkey]

Sorry. I'm a sucker for bars.
I heard that you do the sucking part only when you're behind bars.

[Spider Monkey]

I heard that you do the sucking part only when you're behind bars.

:bj2:

[tappin_azz]

ugh....the phone sex neighbor sent me a pic.

what do i do with it?

[Porch Monkey]

post it here, duh!

[evildave101]

post it here, duh!

x2.

[Spider Monkey]

post it here, duh!

THIS

[tappin_azz]

its HUGE.....im trying to shrink it down.

[tappin_azz]

here.

http://crunktimes.com/ct/album.php?albumid=4&pictureid=17

[Spider Monkey]

Picture fail?


:x:

[Spider Monkey]

Upload it to your picture lilbrary in this forum and paost. It cannot be seen from the outside world.

[tappin_azz]

i did that.

[Spider Monkey]

I went to the top, clicked Community, and then picture albums and you don't ahve one yet homey. Go there and go to the bottom. There is a link for you to create a new album.

[tappin_azz]

http://crunktimes.com/ct/album.php?albumid=4&pictureid=17

see if this works.

[evildave101]

"Invalid Picture specified. If you followed a valid link, please notify the administrator"

[tappin_azz]

this is why i never do pics. now you fools know.

[Spider Monkey]

http://crunktimes.com/ct/album.php?albumid=4&pictureid=17

see if this works.

Yea, that worked brah.

I'd smash it. Can you bring her to nawleens in May?

Gotta wonder though, who took the pic? lel

[Porch Monkey]

someone has edited the pic!


can someone resize it please? lol

[Spider Monkey]

someone has edited the pic!


can someone resize it please? lol

One Sec

[tappin_azz]

i told you it was huge. i couldnt make it smaller.

she wants me it seems. im afraid of her and her roomate. i believe they could rape me.

[evildave101]

Invalid Picture specified. If you followed a valid link, please notify the administrator

[evildave101]

"im doing it wrong?"

[Spider Monkey]

someone has edited the pic!


can someone resize it please? lol
http://crunktimes.com/ct/picture.php?albumid=8&pictureid=18
i told you it was huge. i couldnt make it smaller.

she wants me it seems. im afraid of her and her roomate. i believe they could rape me.
Bring them to nawleens. Rape can ensue.

[Porch Monkey]

the pic was mspainted between her tity and thigh anyway

[tappin_azz]

http://crunktimes.com/ct/picture.php?albumid=8&pictureid=18

Bring them to nawleens. Rape can ensue.

trust me, you want no part of these 2.

[Spider Monkey]

trust me, you want no part of these 2.

I can't tell by looking. I usually enjoy finding things out the hard way.

Unless of course you tell me that they will rot my cawk. Because then I'm out.

[tappin_azz]

there will be plenty of skanks in NOLA. trust me.

[Porch Monkey]

so who edited the pic between here titty and thigh?

[Spider Monkey]

I hope there are some very kind, sensitive females that enjoy long walks on the beach and discussions of a religious nature, as well.

[Spider Monkey]

so who edited the pic between here titty and thigh?

You high.

[Porch Monkey]

You high.
zoom in on that area ;)

[Porch Monkey]

she look like she has a 4x4 monster truck butt!

[Spider Monkey]

I did. I saw nossing.

[Porch Monkey]

you blind bat

[Spider Monkey]

you blind bat

Well yea, that is truth. My glasses flew out of the window of my Jeep about 8 years ago and I have yet to get around to going to get new ones.

[tappin_azz]

the only edit i see is her not facing the camera.

[Metalgear222]

i said MAKE ME SAMMITCH...
...
FUR FREE

[tappin_azz]

i dont know why you are here, but the chick in your ava looks like one of my neighbors.

[Spider Monkey]

i dont know why you are here, but the chick in your ava looks like one of my neighbors.

God dammiit. If you're not bringing them, stop teasing me. :crap:

[tappin_azz]

God dammiit. If you're not bringing them, stop teasing me. :crap:

dude. you want none of these chicks. since the time change, i havent been able to smeak in under the cover of darkness. they been spotting me more. offering me beer and other shit to come over. im running out of excuses.

i got my eye on the light-skinned honey down tha lot though. i told her about the 3-way offer and she said i should stay away. LDO. she also asked if she could drive my jeep. i said only if it was topless. she said ok.

working on pics of her....

[Spider Monkey]

dude. you want none of these chicks. since the time change, i havent been able to smeak in under the cover of darkness. they been spotting me more. offering me beer and other shit to come over. im running out of excuses.

i got my eye on the light-skinned honey down tha lot though. i told her about the 3-way offer and she said i should stay away. LDO. she also asked if she could drive my jeep. i said only if it was topless. she said ok.

working on pics of her....

Ballin!

Chicks always want to drive my jeep, but they don't know how to shift. lel.

[tappin_azz]

Ballin!

Chicks always want to drive my jeep, but they don't know how to shift. lel.

thats one of the reasons i own a standard tranny.

[Spider Monkey]

thats one of the reasons i own a standard tranny.

Along that line of thinking, you should also raise it 6 inches.

I did that for two reasons. One, because fat bitches can't jump, and two, so mexicans can't reach the door handle.

I'm safe.

[tappin_azz]

mines only 4". i dont have tha bank you do.

[Spider Monkey]

Moar poker is needed then.

[tappin_azz]

im recent trailer park happenings...

it seems the 2 roomates have given up the 3-some idea and now each wants me for their own.

now the other roomate is telling me if i hook up with pic girl, i better wear protection. LOL! like there is a chance in hell im going to touch either one of them.

no pics of the other one, but she is scary.

[Spider Monkey]

lulz. They have turned on each other.

[tappin_azz]

LOL! she is just throwing her roomie under the bus. should i rat her out?

[Spider Monkey]

Hells to the yea. In public. Take pix.

[Spider Monkey]

Roomate be cockblockin

[tappin_azz]

it seems as though they have nightly conversations about sexing me up.

personally, i would rather put my dick in an antbed.

[Spider Monkey]

I'd build a back door on my trailer so I could get home without them knowing.

[Porch Monkey]

I just sold a $559 2HP inground pool pump to a trailer park. Took them a fucking week to get me the check!

[tappin_azz]

I just sold a $559 2HP inground pool pump to a trailer park. Took them a fucking week to get me the check!

we tha poor folks yo!! we spend all our money on tattoos and drank.

you know those cut-off jeans are going to clog up that pump within a month.

[Porch Monkey]

Warranty won't cover that, so they'll be SOL!

[hoss]

I want my cut offs to be warranted

[tappin_azz]

I'd build a back door on my trailer so I could get home without them knowing.

only problem is they see that bad-ass jeep out front and they come crawling.

one of them told me that i should have came over last night, they were up taking pics. i asked what kind of pics and she said......"you know what kind".

im only assuming they are gross.

[Spider Monkey]

I bet you hit it if they were latino.

[tappin_azz]

I bet you hit it if they were latino.

well yeah... white girls just dont do it for me.

[Spider Monkey]

Even ones that work at McDonalds?

[tappin_azz]

white people dont work at mcdonalds!! are you serious???

[Porch Monkey]

well yeah... white girls just dont do it for me.
Gianna Michaels?

[Spider Monkey]

white people dont work at mcdonalds!! are you serious???

I figured that in areas where rednecks run everything, there would be some quality white trash in there as managers or something.

[tappin_azz]

Gianna Michaels?

i had to google her, but no. not even a little bit.

[Porch Monkey]

search www.spankwire.com for her

[Alcoholic]

spankwire FTW. fast loads, good vids, I could fap all day to that

[tappin_azz]

im thinking about kicking grandma out. i cant take her shit anymore. she wont wash my clothes, and her men keep eating up all the food. i swear i cant ever get a bologna sammich when i want one cause these old ass men keep eating it. whole damn trailer smells like fried bologna.

only bad part is i would have to get a job.

[Spider Monkey]

nDeed. I was going to ask you how you'd pay for gas in her car.

[tappin_azz]

i got a water hose i use for gas. fool next door thinks his truck gets like 4MPG.

[Porch Monkey]

LOL

[Porch Monkey]

A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends $5,000.00 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home she stops at a newsstand to buy a paper. Before leaving she asks the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 32 " the clerk replies.

"I'm actually 47," the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the same question. She replies,"I'd guess about 29."

The woman replies, "Nope, I'm 47." Now she's feeling really good about herself.

While waiting for the bus home, she asks an old man the same question. He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was, but it requires you to let me put my hands down your panties. Then I can tell exactly how old you are."

They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of the woman and she finally says, "What the hell, go ahead."

The old man slips both hands down her panties and begins to feel around. After a couple of minutes she says, "Okay, Okay, how old am I?"

He removes his hands and says, "You're 47." Stunned, the woman says, "That's amazing. How do you know?".

The old man replies, "I was behind you in McDonald's."

[Pop Da Hatch]

he he he