Process for proper urination

[pl8er]

So I just went to take a leak and had picked up some Ytterbium and also some lanthanum, so I washed my hands before peeing. Well, I went and after that washed my hands again.

I was thinking about it and have to say I am now updating my urination process.

Open door
Wash hands **new process
Dry Hands **new process
Unzip
Pull out
Urinate
Shake
Put away
Verify tip or skin is not in zipper reach
zip
wash
grab towel and dry hands
fold towel into palm of hand and pull door open
pin door with foot and throw away towel
leave

If I had to choose one or the other, I would rather someone have to touch my dick (me not washing after peeing) instead of me touching someone elses hands or whatever to my dick.

My dick is priority numero uno, ya dig?

[_AnGeL_]

werd.

[pl8er]

werd.

:hi5:

[ngsm13]

Meh...

nG

[Spider Monkey]

So I just went to take a leak and had picked up some Ytterbium and also some lanthanum, so I washed my hands before peeing. Well, I went and after that washed my hands again.

I was thinking about it and have to say I am now updating my urination process.

Open door
Wash hands **new process
Dry Hands **new process
Unzip
Pull out
Urinate
Shake
Put away
Verify tip or skin is not in zipper reach
zip
wash
grab towel and dry hands
fold towel into palm of hand and pull door open
pin door with foot and throw away towel
leave

If I had to choose one or the other, I would rather someone have to touch my dick (me not washing after peeing) instead of me touching someone elses hands or whatever to my dick.

My dick is priority numero uno, ya dig?

We have some fuck stick in this building that opens the door at the end with the paper towel in his hand and he leaves it wrapped around the door knob. I'mma donkey punch him in the earhole when I catch him doing it.

[Jamesypoo]

My body laughs at germs and diseases that roam about in public restrooms. It's like shooting a mother fucking nerf gun at the Great Wall of China. Washing my hands before pee? Definitely not. Washing hands after pee? You know the answer.

[fbi90909]

I walk in, lock the door
Unbuckle belt
Unzip
Pee
Shake
Squeeze
Shake again
Scratch and relieve my genetelia
Zip
Look In the mirror
Pick my teeth with my finger nails
Pop a zit or bump
Rinse hands
Wipe with paper towel
Then leave.

[pl8er]

Your body won't be so happy with you once you catch the megasuperaids in there

[Jamesypoo]

Your body won't be so happy with you once you catch the megasuperaids in there

If I've avoided STDs thus far, a public restroom is the least of my concerns.

[Spider Monkey]

I wash before I pee. Ya'll must have some nasty dirt penors. I like to keep mine clean.

[Pop Da Hatch]

I pee in the woods, Im a man.

[Jamesypoo]

No need to wash before or after. Sometimes I masturbate with a cheese grater to keep my peener's defenses in check.

[fbi90909]

I wash before I pee. Ya'll must have some nasty dirt penors. I like to keep mine clean.

Bro my penis smells like jasmine and Armani. :wiggle:

[Spider Monkey]

No need to wash before or after. Sometimes I masturbate with a cheese grater to keep my peener's defenses in check.

My penor is on a pedestal bro. I would never do that to it.

[Jamesypoo]

Mine is a warrior who knows it could be put into action at any moment.

[pl8er]

:laugh: JP, you kill me. with your warrior penor

[fbi90909]

I bet you mr warrior has a big helmet doesn't it?

[Pootie]

No need to wash before or after. Sometimes I masturbate with a cheese grater to keep my peener's defenses in check.

I feel ya. I buff mine with a power sander every night.

[Jamesypoo]

I bet you mr warrior has a big helmet doesn't it?

http://www.trueswords.com/images/prod/c/trojan_warrior_helmet_540.jpg

[ngsm13]

My body laughs at germs and diseases that roam about in public restrooms. It's like shooting a mother fucking nerf gun at the Great Wall of China. Washing my hands before pee? Definitely not. Washing hands after pee? You know the answer.
sofuckingthis... :banana:

nG

[ngsm13]

buncha fucking OCD pussies ITT...

nG

[Jamesypoo]

Lol. One day my sociology teacher was talking about how most people don't wash their hands in the restroom unless someone else is in there.

[Spider Monkey]

Lol. One day my sociology teacher was talking about how most people don't wash their hands in the restroom unless someone else is in there.

That is so wierd to me.

[J31Bro]

I usually just piss my pants & change them.

[Spider Monkey]

And JP is a waiter. A dirty handed food giver outer. lol

[Jamesypoo]

I wash my hands at work because they make me.

[kurnlesbiskuits]

Word. I would never risk tainting my pubic afro.

[slim8605]

I wash before and after pissing.

[atoz350]

I wash before and after pissing.

^This.

[Pootie]

YouTube- George Carlin - fear of germs

[Tiger Bass]

Yall must be some nasty mother fuckers if you have to wash before you pee.

[rangerbitch03]

hahahha

open door
unbutton
unzip
pull down
sit down
piss
wipe (front to back to youll get an infection lol)
stand up
pull pants up
button
zip
wash hands to the happy birthday song
get towel
use towel to turn off water
open door with towel
throw towel away
taaadaaaa
:D

[Echo42987]

I usually end up ejaculating when I pee???

[rangerbitch03]

dude i was listenin to loveline once(not sure what radio station its on, ryan listens to it all the time) and they were talkin about how some girls when they hold their piss in long enough and finally go pee, they have an orgasm. its rather humerus.

[Spider Monkey]

I wanna know how you wipe your vagina front to back.

[rangerbitch03]

your suppose to lol thats what they tell us in sex ed because youll get yeast infections and you dont want that, they fuckin suck.

[Tiger Bass]

What do you call a super model with a yeast infection?


A quarter pounder with cheese

[Jamesypoo]

JP?

[SyKo13]

http://www.trueswords.com/images/prod/c/trojan_warrior_helmet_540.jpg

I lol'd irl

hahahha

open door
unbutton
unzip
pull down
sit down
piss
wipe (front to back to youll get an infection lol)
stand up
pull pants up
button
zip
wash hands to the happy birthday song
get towel
use towel to turn off water
open door with towel
throw towel away
taaadaaaa
:D

your suppose to lol thats what they tell us in sex ed because youll get yeast infections and you dont want that, they fuckin suck.

At first I was like :confused2: then I read name and was like :troll:

What do you call a super model with a yeast infection?


A quarter pounder with cheese

[Jamesypoo]

Fuck you and your white text TB. Plus I don't get it.

[datniggadussin]

Fuck you and your white text TB. Plus I don't get it.

i get the cheese part but:confused2:

[Tiger Bass]

Stupid people itt

[slim8605]

^x2

[pl8er]

EW! Quarter pounder with cheese.....yuk yuk yuk

[pl8er]

New thought...I was brushing my teeth in the shower...after I finished I used mouthwash...well I spit it out and always have those goobies in my mouth so I rinse my mouth out and gargle till they are gone.

So is the positive impact from the rinse gone? Should I do this again? I could see that taking way too long.


I also tried wiping my ass while sitting the other day. It does get the dingles off easier, but kinda hurts my asshole. I'll just continue to stand and wipe.

[Spider Monkey]

New thought...I was brushing my teeth in the shower...after I finished I used mouthwash...well I spit it out and always have those goobies in my mouth so I rinse my mouth out and gargle till they are gone.

So is the positive impact from the rinse gone? Should I do this again? I could see that taking way too long.


I also tried wiping my ass while sitting the other day. It does get the dingles off easier, but kinda hurts my asshole. I'll just continue to stand and wipe.

That's what men do bro.

[slim8605]

I squat and wipe.

[fbi90909]

I squat and wipe.

Kinda this. Like lift my ass 8" off the toilet seat and wipe.

[slim8605]

I'm not really that precise about how far away from the seat I am but yea, that shit.

[Spider Monkey]

I have to stand all the way up because I hate wiping my ass with my cock still in the water.

[_AnGeL_]

im with slim and fbi...

[_AnGeL_]

I have to stand all the way up because I hate wiping my ass with my cock still in the water.

bro, wtf how do you gain access to the throwne if your standing up?

[pl8er]

Yeah, I do stand straight up to wipe.

I also have a strict 7 wipes and your out rule.

If I go past 7, I go take a shower because there isn't getting clean at that point.

[_AnGeL_]

HOW THE HELL DO YOU GUY STAND UP TO WIPE? doesnt that just smear it on you?

[jesus]

I just raise up, but I wipe at least 4 times, twice per wad, each wad consisting of at least 4 squares.

I'm probably just too fat to stand up and wipe, that just doesn't make any sense.

[jesus]

My taint gets it's very own wad of toilet paper :fyi:

[_AnGeL_]

it doesnt make sense if youre skinny either :wat:

[jesus]

Yes, but your kind are used to shitting in ditches, ponds, outside your hut, etc. so you don't count.

Can someone else chime in here please?

[_AnGeL_]

niqqa plz

[_AnGeL_]

you racism dawg.

[Spider Monkey]

bro, wtf how do you gain access to the throwne if your standing up?

Huh?


HOW THE HELL DO YOU GUY STAND UP TO WIPE? doesnt that just smear it on you?

Bro, I don't shit all over myself so there isn't anything to smear. I also don't have some J-Lo booty that slaps together when I stand or walk.

[_AnGeL_]

Huh?




Bro, I don't shit all over myself so there isn't anything to smear. I also don't have some J-Lo booty that slaps together when I stand or walk.

uredoinitrong

[Tiger Bass]

You're asian. You don't have a butt at all

[_AnGeL_]

so he wipes his bones?

[slim8605]

so he wipes his bones?

No, BETWEEN the bones.

[_AnGeL_]

but, did he reach his throne?

[slim8605]

I've reached his throne.

[_AnGeL_]

:eek:

[SyKo13]

:eek:

Fuck yo :eek:

[pl8er]

Yeah, I do not double wipe. 4 squares min and one wipe and toss. Yep, I'm wasteful

[_AnGeL_]

you killing trees dawg.

[_AnGeL_]

killing trees with your shit :crap:

[SyKo13]

fuck trees

[_AnGeL_]

:O

[SyKo13]

Fuck yo :O

[_AnGeL_]

:hahaha:

[SyKo13]

Fuck you

[_AnGeL_]

lolumad

[Zakerid]

i wash before peeing as well... unless i feel my hands will be cleaner if i dont touch the nasty ass sink...

[jesus]

I never wash my hands. I can't stand to have wet hands and it takes me like 5 minutes to dry them off.

[ngsm13]

That's fucking disgusting. Why the fuck would you EVER stand up, and smash your ass cheeks together. You like to have a dirtball ass sandwich?

Also, wadding is for girls... and dumb as fuck.

nG

[ngsm13]

I tilt to one side, while my ass cheeks are still spread open, and use toilet paper folded in half, and wipe my ass. Then do a peek back to check the status of the paper (because if you don't, how the fuck do you know if your asshole is clean), then fold over again and wipe (if there's enough paper). I repeat this process, until the TP is white and shows no signs of doodoo.

If it's not getting clean, or is near clean, I go for a spit on the TP. Then wipe my dirty brown eye well, and then repeat the dry TP process.

Dirty assholes stink, itch, cause swampass and discomfort. So, you gotta do the job right.

nG

[Hairyballzonya]

I tilt to one side, while my ass cheeks are still spread open, and use toilet paper folded in half, and wipe my ass. Then do a peek back to check the status of the paper (because if you don't, how the fuck do you know if your asshole is clean), then fold over again and wipe (if there's enough paper). I repeat this process, until the TP is white and shows no signs of doodoo.

If it's not getting clean, or is near clean, I go for a spit on the TP. Then wipe my dirty brown eye well, and then repeat the dry TP process.

Dirty assholes stink, itch, cause swampass and discomfort. So, you gotta do the job right.

nG

LOL Spit on the TP.

[jesus]

I used the term loosely when I put "wad" as I prepare 4 sets of 4 squares in nice folds ahead of time.

I also thought this was the "JRob Stripper" thread and found it at the time to be much funnier than it actually turned out.

[ngsm13]

LOL Spit on the TP.

Damn skippy. Found out this is actually not uncommon a while back... on another large forum...

nG

[Captain Ahab]

Guilty of spitting on TP or wetting TP with water from sink

[Snowboarder117]

OCD fucks iTT

[fbi90909]

OCD fucks iTT

i'm sayin. i don't care how clean my butt hole is. not like i'm looking to get rammed in the ass..
that much anal care is for fags.
i bet they pamper their asses with baby power after it all too.

[jesus]

:laugh:

I can't top that. Pretty much sums it up.

[ngsm13]

i'm sayin. i don't care how clean my butt hole is. not like i'm looking to get rammed in the ass..
that much anal care is for fags.
i bet they pamper their asses with baby power after it all too.

No thanks on dirty assholes and dingleberries. I guess you people enjoy itchy sphincters.

Oh, and I powder my balls after every shower.

nG

[jesus]

http://photonexter.com/image/testesttest12345.jpg

[slim8605]

I always take a shower after a shit so I honestly don't care how clean I get it with TP.

[pl8er]

so you only shit at home?

I do care how clean my ass is. I mean a stinky ass will make for a stinky person and not getting it all clean means my balls could potentially get poopie on them.

[slim8605]

so you only shit at home?

I do care how clean my ass is. I mean a stinky ass will make for a stinky person and not getting it all clean means my balls could potentially get poopie on them.

Yes sir. I'm too much of a germaphobe to touch a public seat.

[joetama]

I wash the hands after I snap a deuce. But not usually if I piss. Used a lot of porto shitters and truck stop bathrooms growing up so no bathroom scares me.

Also, single cheek lean till its clean. My life motto.

I am going to try the spit thing sometime. Props Noah lol.

[jesus]

I wash the hands after I snap a deuce. But not usually if I piss. Used a lot of porto shitters and truck stop bathrooms growing up so no bathroom scares me.

Also, single cheek lean till its clean. My life motto.

I am going to try the spit thing sometime. Props Noah lol.

.

[IamDeMan]

I call in a crane and the hazmat team to take care of my dirty ass.

[_AnGeL_]

I'm with slim and the only shitting at home thing. I refuse to sit on a public restroom toilet.

[wishuponansg]

I'm with slim and the only shitting at home thing. I refuse to sit on a public restroom toilet.

this. i've had days where ill turtle head for 3+ hours just so i can unload in the privacy of my own home. and i can take my sweet damn time too. im never done shitting in under 15 minutes.

[Captain Ahab]

LOL @ scaredy poopers ITT


I don't give a fuck where it is. If I find a toilet, I'll take a dump.

[pl8er]

Daytona beach pier porta-potty would change your thinking. I've never seen so much filth.

[Captain Ahab]

I have seen toilet lids with poop all over. All i did was wipe the poop off with TP. Wet TP with soap and wipe it again. Dry with TP. set down and shit.

[wishuponansg]

I have seen toilet lids with poop all over. All i did was wipe the poop off with TP. Wet TP with soap and wipe it again. Dry with TP. set down and shit.

i cant wrap my mind around handling someone elses feces, even if with TP.

[_AnGeL_]

lolunasty

[Captain Ahab]

Keep in minds, I shit in the woods at least 50 times a year. Possibly more. And half the time I forget TP so I have to wipe with leaves.

[_AnGeL_]

i can pop a squat in the woods and possibly wipe with leaves, but i can't and won't shit in a public restroom.

[slim8605]

lol x2 I'd shit in the woods before using a public toilet.

[pl8er]

I have ZERO issue with woods shitting.

I poop in many places but I do have a few places I won't. I poop at work more than at home. We have 4 scheduled cleanings per day at work, so always minty clean.

[Captain Ahab]

Best shit ever was one morning while I was working a turkey.


IDK why this only happens during the Spring...Has to do with temperature or something...

But I always drink 2 cups of coffee in the mornings before I hunt. One while I eat breakfast and post. Another on my drive to my hunting spot.

During deer season, I usually don't shit until I climb down from hunting around 11:00AM or later.

BUT, during turkey season, I have to shit 75% of the time on the walk in or early in the morning.


So two years ago I had gotten drunk one night and decided to get up and turkey hunt the next day. On my drive to my spot I realized I was still about hammered.

Walked in the woods, heard a bird, set up on him.

He had hens so my hopes were a bit doubtful. And then the shit hit me. I held it for 30 minutes but couldn't really move. Finally I said fuck it as I knew it was beer shits and didn't want to walk out of the woods with poo running down my leg..

I proceeded to squirt liquid beer shits all over the woods with noise that I am surprised didn't spook the turkey. I just prayed they hadn't seen or heard me.


I set up on another tree as I had pooped behind my original setup. 10 minutes later I see some hens. Behind them Mr. tom followed.

http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m122/deerhunt1988/SS850403-2.jpg




One of my most memorable shits. Luckily I had TP that morning as I knew beer shits would hit me.

[Spider Monkey]

Ya'll some weird mother fuckers.

[wishuponansg]

Best shit ever was one morning while I was working a turkey.


IDK why this only happens during the Spring...Has to do with temperature or something...

But I always drink 2 cups of coffee in the mornings before I hunt. One while I eat breakfast and post. Another on my drive to my hunting spot.

During deer season, I usually don't shit until I climb down from hunting around 11:00AM or later.

BUT, during turkey season, I have to shit 75% of the time on the walk in or early in the morning.


So two years ago I had gotten drunk one night and decided to get up and turkey hunt the next day. On my drive to my spot I realized I was still about hammered.

Walked in the woods, heard a bird, set up on him.

He had hens so my hopes were a bit doubtful. And then the shit hit me. I held it for 30 minutes but couldn't really move. Finally I said fuck it as I knew it was beer shits and didn't want to walk out of the woods with poo running down my leg..

I proceeded to squirt liquid beer shits all over the woods with noise that I am surprised didn't spook the turkey. I just prayed they hadn't seen or heard me.


I set up on another tree as I had pooped behind my original setup. 10 minutes later I see some hens. Behind them Mr. tom followed.

http://i103.photobucket.com/albums/m122/deerhunt1988/SS850403-2.jpg




One of my most memorable shits. Luckily I had TP that morning as I knew beer shits would hit me.

wouldve been epic had you shot him while shitting.

[pl8er]

wouldve been epic had you shot him while shitting.

:hahaha:

[pl8er]

+1!

[Jamesypoo]

Don't think I've ever pooped in woods. Don't plan on it either.

[fanninator]

what a sweet story!

[2lo]

I never wash my hands. I can't stand to have wet hands and it takes me like 5 minutes to dry them off.

disgusting:goatse:

[jesus]

:shrug:

[benzmansl65amg]

awesome